Six months before she died, my grandmother moved into
an old people's home and I visited her there when I was in Britain. She was
sitting in the living room with about fifteen other residents, mostly women,
half of them asleep. The room was clean and warm, with flowers and pictures,
and the care assistants were kind and cheerful. 'The Weakest Link' was on the
television ('to keep their brains active' one of the assistants said), and the
only other sound was snoring and embarrassing digestive noises. People only
moved when they needed to be helped to the bathroom. It was depressing. Gran
talked a lot about how much she missed seeing her grandchildren (my nieces, aged
7 and 5), but I knew from my sister that they hated going to visit her there
and, to be perfectly honest, I couldn't wait to get away myself.
So I was interested to read a newspaper article about
a new concept in old people's homes in France. The idea is simple, but
revolutionary: combining a residential home for the elderly with a nursery school in the same building. The children and the residents eat
lunch together and share activities such as music, painting, gardening and
caring for the pets which the residents are encouraged to keep. In the
afternoons, the residents enjoy reading or telling stories to the children and,
if a child is feeling sad or tired, there is always a kind lap to sit on and a
cuddle. There are trips out and birthday parties too.
The advantages are enormous for everyone concerned.
The children are happy because they get a lot more individual attention and
respond well because someone has time for them. They also learn that old people
are not different or frightening in any way. And of course, they see illness
and death and learn to accept them. The residents are happy because they feel
useful and needed. They are more active and more interested in life when the
children are around and they take more interest in their appearance too. And
the staff are happy because they see an improvement in the physical and
psychological health of the residents and have an army of assistants to help
with the children.
Nowadays there is less and less contact between the
old and the young. There are many reasons for this, including the breakdown of
the extended family, working parents with no time to care for ageing relations,
families that have moved away and smaller flats with no room for grandparents.
But the result is the same: increasing numbers of children without grandparents
and old people who have no contact with children. And more old people who are
lonely and feel useless, along with more and more families with young children
who desperately need more support. It's a major problem in many societies.
That's why inter- generational programs, designed to
bring the old and the young together, are growing in popularity all over the
world, supported by UNESCO and other local and international organizations. Modern
Western society has isolated people into age groups and now we need to
rediscover what 'community' really means. And we can use the strengths of one
generation to help another. Then perhaps getting old won't be such a depressing
prospect after all.
